The 'Hurry Up and Wait' Stage of a Book Deal (Spoiler: It Sucks)

...but we have an actual DATE now!

What’s the hardest thing about getting feedback on our manuscripts? Querying, being on sub, and even finally getting a book deal?

Yes, of course, the obvious and right answer to all of those parts of the process is, all the blood, sweat, and tears we have to put into our book babies, our passion projects, never knowing if we will get anywhere, if our book will ever see the light of day. Writers, am I right?

But I’d like to offer up another possible answer: PATIENCE.

And I’m not gonna lie, it’s my WORST skill set. One might even laugh and say, it’s not even IN my skill set (I’m looking at you, husband).

Ever since November 27, 2024, the day before Thanksgiving, when my agent called to tell me we had our first solid offer for my debut thriller THE BETTER MOTHER, my body and brain have been in a constant state of alertness, anxiousness, and nervous energy. Not unlike when I first went on sub, waiting for any word of how editors were reacting to my book. Seriously, I feel like a child, living in the movie Groundhog, where every single day is Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day NEVER COMES.

You might be tempted to say, why on Earth? You HAVE your book deal! You’ve DONE it! It’s HAPPENING for you! (Cue the strains of Taylor Swift’s “You Need to Calm DOWN.”)

And of course, you’d be totally valid in saying that. In fact, I ask MYSELF those questions almost on the daily. I really just need to relax and enjoy the journey, right?

And the simple answer is, I have no PATIENCE. I want to be DOING THINGS.

What is “time,” anyway? I’m no philosopher, but I’ll tell you what time is to me—it’s time to start doubting myself. Wondering if I imagined that offer call (was it really real? Or was I dreaming?). Wondering if the reason why WEEKS UPON WEEKS have gone by with no contact from my editor means they’ve changed their mind about my book, or at the very least, aren’t as excited as they were in the beginning because something newer and shinier and better and more exciting has come along in the meantime. Or, wondering if mistakes are happening that I don’t know about…ones that I’ll look back on a year from now and say, “If only I’d known, I could have done something about it.”

I mean, seriously—MINE IS THE ONLY BOOK THEY’RE PUTTING OUT NEXT YEAR, RIGHT? SO THEY SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON ME, AND ME ONLY, RIGHT?

Yeah. I know. Who in the world do I think I am? Don’t worry, I’m laughing at me too.

Hopefully my agent will laugh at this part (or maybe just say “awwwww, sweetie”), but every time I send her an email asking a question or just simply checking in, I worry that I’m bothering her or driving her crazy, because really, in the back of my mind, I know all I need to do is WAIT and BE PATIENT and everything will happen when it’s supposed to (and in fact, my agent will make sure of that, because that’s what she does—awesomely).

But I’m just not good at that.

When I’m with friends and family, I feel like the bride who just got engaged, and ALL I want to do is talk about my wedding—what it will look like, who will be there, what kind of food we’ll serve, how the cake will look. It’s ALL I want to talk about. But I also don’t want my friends and family to get tired of hearing about a book that’s not even here yet. Like it’s the only thing happening in the world, for any of us (especially with world climate being what it is these days—what is a little book amongst all of that?!)

So how do I EXIST in this stage of….nothing?

I like to plan ahead. Ever since I realized this author thing might actually be possible for me and I decided to take it seriously (as in, more than a hobby), I’ve had a clear picture in my head of what I want the next five, ten, twenty years of my life to look like. The accomplishments, the milestones, what it will mean for my family. Book two, book three, and hopefully even book four. But does any of that matter when you realize just how little control over all of that you actually have, as a writer?

I’m going to wager my guess here, because Lord knows I’m still learning as I go, but my inkling now is to say, yes and no. It’s good to have a plan. It’s good to have goals. I can only control what I can control, so as long as I’m concentrating on those things, I’m doing my part. Right?

And the rest, I have to let go. This realization has hit me like a ton of bricks these last few months—that I SOLD my book. As in, it doesn’t belong to just ME anymore. I gave a big part of it to another entity, who now largely controls its future.

But I’m just not good at that. I am so used to being the doer. I’m the type of person who always welcomes and appreciates help from others, but never depends on it, because I know the only person I can truly trust and depend on one-hundred percent is myself. For that reason, it was so hard to just hand everything over to my agent and let her take care of submissions. Me: “You mean, I really can’t help? I can’t do anything?” Her: “Nope. It’s all taken care of. Relax. You’ll know when I know.” (Cue the screaming inside my head)

P.S. My agent is amazing and I do one-hundred percent trust her. But in the beginning, before I truly knew what kind of agent she was, that was hard to trust, no matter how much I wanted to or was inclined to!

And now that I have a book deal, and we’re working toward a release date, it’s still just as hard. Why haven’t I heard anything in, like, a month? What is my publisher doing? What’s happening? I’m just supposed to sit back and TRUST that everything’s chugging right along behind the scenes without my assistance? REALLY? But this is MY BOOK?! It has (or will have) MY NAME ON IT!

But alas, them’s are the facts.

Can I do anything about the fact that my contract (and therefore my advance) is taking months? No (and, also, is that normal in publishing? I now know—abso-frickin-lutely).

Does it make me (and my spouse) hella nervous that I’m having to put other plans in motion—or, conversely, a pause on certain other plans that would happen right around the time of my release date—without having signed said contract, making it all really really real? Yes. A thousand times yes.

Do I relentlessly stalk my inbox every day, hoping for even the tiniest crumb of news from my editor? Such as, what about copyedits and pass pages? How is it going trying to sell to foreign territories? What about my cover design? What about an audiobook? Yes. A million times yes.

But can I do anything about it? No. A bajillion times no.

I keep telling myself, I need to have faith—I’m only in this position because I worked very hard, and I wrote a good book, and my agent and the powers-that-be in the publishing industry liked my book and decided to take it on, so it’s happening. There shouldn’t still be any room for doubt, but of course there always will be. That’s just the reality of being an author, I guess. I’ve heard it countless times from some of the industry’s most successful authors—even though they sold nineteen books before it, it doesn’t mean book twenty is a done deal, and they still feel nervous when they’re waiting for that Yes or No answer. And likewise, when book twenty does come out, they still get nervous if anyone will actually buy it and read it and like it.

What can I do in the meantime to distract myself? Everyone says, write the next book.

Cue all new reasons to doubt.

So that’s what I’m doing (or trying to, at least) - write book two. And I have such mixed feelings about it! On one hand, I went into it feeling so much more confident than I did starting my debut. I actually got playful, clever, tried some new things I hadn’t dared to try before with my plotting and writing. But on the other hand, WOW is that voice of doubt strong! Scary terms like “sophomore slump” bounce around in my mind, and I can feel it bleeding into my work sometimes. WHAT IF I NEVER SELL ANOTHER BOOK EVER AGAIN?!?!

I’ve never been one to meditate, but maybe I need to try.

Veteran authors - I’d LOVE to hear how some of you tackle this impatience, this voice of doubt even after you’ve gotten the Yes. Let’s all help each other!

Updates on THE BETTER MOTHER!

Update #1 - This happened a couple of weeks ago and I haven’t had a chance to tell the Substack world yet, but my publisher has officially accepted my manuscript and said no further developmental edits are needed. Woohoo!

And…as of just yesterday….

Update #2 - It was a one-sentence email that popped into my inbox, but MAN did that one sentence make me want to shout joyfully from the rooftops! We have an official date, people! THE BETTER MOTHER’s official release date is now two weeks earlier than I expected - February 10th, 2026!

You can read the full synopsis of THE BETTER MOTHER here. Thanks for all the congratulations and well wishes that people have sent since my announcement!

What I’m Reading:

I’m trying to read all the comps people have brought up in connection with my book, so I just finished THE DROWNING WOMAN by Robyn Harding—and I now know why so many people call it one of their favorite thrillers ever. Holy mackerel, is it a gripping story. I feel simultaneously ridiculous to be even mentioned in the same universe, and also crazy inspired. READ IT.

I am still making my way through the audiobook of Alice Feeney’s HIS & HERS, and I can’t imagine ever creating a piece of literature that compares. It is a master class. The clues, the connections, the imagination, the VIBES—wow. And to top it all off, the audiobook just takes it to a whole new level. IYKYK.

What I’m Watching:

Last Christmas, when my father came to live with me, he brought me a big box of over 30 DVDs of this show he loved called “A Place to Call Home.” He had watched the whole show from beginning to end, and loved it, and he thought I would too, since we both love period pieces. He wanted us to watch it together and be our “thing” to do every night—one episode before bed.

Sadly, we didn’t make it past season 1 before he passed away, but I feel very connected to him as I continue the series without him. It’s still our thing. Luckily, it’s an AMAZING show and I’m also very addicted. Basically, think of it as Downton Abbey, but in Australia, and in the 1950s. It’s very similar with its themes of class, duty, familial obligation, and the lives of those “upstairs” versus “downstairs.” It deals with PTSD and antisemitism in the aftermath of World War II, the beginnings of alternate sexualities coming out of the shadows into the light of day, and so much more. I highly recommend!